WHAT THE HELL, Self? I know, I know, I've been slacking off on just about everything. Here's a picture to bribe you gain back your loyalty, trust, and friendship:
That was a few weeks ago, when I was around the exact 8 month mark. Can you believe it? I'm in my last month of pregnancy all ready! There are no more trimesters or months to count down now, only a few weeks. *gulp* Only weeks to go. I can totally do this. I don't just look like if I'm pregnant, I look much more pregnant too. :D Of course, with a belly that small this late in the game, nobody believes that I'm even in the last trimester (yes, those are my ribs you're seeing up there), but I know, Taurus Man knows, the doctors and nurses know, and you guys know. (Right??!?!??!) I think I've put on close to the same amount of weight in my belly and legs. My thighs and calves are super bulked up and muscle-y and I'm using a stretch mark cream (our first gift!) on the top of my calves and the top of my thighs as they are the only places I got stretch marks so far with the huge weight difference in those areas.
I finally joined the clinic last week and was promptly scolded by everyone that crossed my path. Check my weight, get scolded. Check my blood pressure, get scolded. Check my pee, get scolded. You get the picture. Apparently everybody knows that you're supposed to join the clinic around three months into your pregnancy. I may have missed that memo. I had asked my private ob-gyn about joining the clinic, taking lamaze classes, and about what to expect later in the pregnancy, during labor, and after giving birth. She was very annoyed that I was even thinking about those things and insisted that none of those questions pertained to me so early in the pregnancy, they were not relevant until much later down, and she would let me know as we progressed through the pregnancy. She never mentioned it again, it was established that I was not supposed to ask questions, and I didn't remember things like finding out about joining the clinic until December. By the time Taurus Man and I finally made the time to go, it was last week.
Remember how I was freaking out earlier on and wondering if we'd get things ready in time and if we would have everything we need and all that? On that spectrum (and many others) Taurus Man and I are worlds apart. Now, bordering on the 9 month mark, is when Taurus Man is finally ready to go window shopping to compare products and prices and get into the realistic aspect of getting things ready. So my old to-do lists had to be scrapped. I kept going back to them and realized that we were ticking things off at a snail's pace. So I said screw it and made a new one yesterday morning. My ob-gyn says that although my due date is the middle of March, based on how the pregnancy has passed by so far and her instincts, she thinks my realistic due time is between the last week this month and the first week in March. Good enough for me. That means I have just cause to insist that everything gets done THIS month. Yesterday I clicked around all over Microsoft Excel and learned that there's a strikethrough option right there. So there's no need for me to save multiple screen shots on Paint and draw crooked lines across each task. However, I couldn't share the list with you unless it was an image, so I took the screenshot and cropped it into Paint (see how my Paint skills have improved? ^_^) because you guys are so special and I want to share my fancy work with you. Have a look-see:
I made this list just
yesterday morning and I've already crossed
three things off the list! I'm so proud of myself. Taurus Man is still working on the crib, which may be completed as early as this week. With the combined things my dad and brothers sent for me, the hospital bags for myself and the baby are each about 90% ready. It's possible that as early as today Taurus Man and I can go to a pharmacy/cosmetics store and some other baby places in our nearby town to actually cross those bags off the list. Taurus Man's cousin, Aries Man (they grew up like brothers), and his wife, Taurus Girl, have offered to help us get some of the baby things we need instead of buying extravagant gifts. That helps us out to insane extents. We met with them just yesterday to make a list of what we need, and after Taurus Man and I get some things this week (hopefully) and the rest of things from my brothers come down from the U.S., when I meet Taurus Girl to go shopping next Saturday, I think we can cross off a ton of things (especially the more pricey items) from the list before we even start, which will make me feel less awkward about accepting anything in the first place.
So in terms of getting things done, that list up there is our new focus and Taurus Man thinks we can get most of those things done as early as by the end of this week. EXCELLENT. :D
Now, what are my plans for the rest of this pregnancy? My belly is now constantly in the way (yes,
this little belly) of everything and I can't go anywhere without bumping into walls, door frames, tables, and just about everything. Also, as a symptom of my dear, sweet Superbaby sucking the calcium out of my bones, I am in constant bone pain. The bone on the right side of my butt never stops hurting. In addition to that, it shoots down to my knee bone and both butt bones hurt quite regularly. I still have a problem with the bones in my feet, namely my heel, hurting as well. The heel problem is one I've had for years before pregnancy, so my doctor isn't concerned about it. Since starting Calcium supplements last month, the pain has become more manageable, and I've gotten used to maneuvering around it, but it's still a constant pain in the butt (literally) to deal with. I have bursts of energy throughout the day, nearly every day, and even when I don't, as long as I'm feeling well enough, I'll push myself to get things done, even if it's something as simple as washing a few onesies and socks in the morning and resting for the rest of the day. I'm also using the old 'mind over matter' technique and telling myself that I'm full of so much energy, caffeine is intimidated by me (yeah bitch! *gangsta face*). The little bursts of energy are what are helping me get things done now, as well as the expected due time ticking away in the imaginary time bomb in my head. I still try to rest as often as I can as spotting and cramping are still a problem for me and the doc is very adamant that I do nothing to exert myself, especially on those days. So even if all I get done for the day is to iron a baby blanket or two, at least I tell myself I got something done, so I'm a little more prepared, and the baby is okay, so I'm cool. Although I have these bursts of energy, I've also turned into my maternal grandmother overnight and fall asleep wherever I am, regardless of what I'm doing, at least once a day. The only person who catches me is Taurus Man, and he's not allowed to make fun of me because I'm giving birth to his child, so we're cool with that, too. However, I do have to time myself around my bursts of energy and sudden bouts of drowsiness, so that gets a little annoying at times. We've also had major keep-backs in terms of my getting the flu from December-January, and then getting the cold from my paternal grandmother last week (there will be a rant about that soon. Wait for it.). So I'm working around bursts of energy, spotting and cramping, bouts of sudden drowsiness, bone pain, and of course once my feet hurt past a certain point I start limping like a three legged dog and need to stop moving ASAP. I'm taking things one day at a time, and doing what I can based on what my energy levels are each day, and thankfully I have Taurus Man to help with the things I can't do. Ideally, I'd like to sit down with my feet up and do nothing but stare at my big toe and rub my aching butt until Superbaby comes. Life doesn't like any plans I start off with "ideally", so that's not going to happen, but little by little, I'm getting rest when I can and getting things done when I'm able.
What about after I have the baby? HOLY SHIZNIT. You guys will not believe how much stuff I'm clueless about. Down here, there are a lot of traditions that must be followed and certain things you're supposed to do because some people called "they" said so. You think I'm exaggerating? Okay. This is just what I know so far (as in, was recently told). After giving birth, you're not supposed to bathe or let your head get wet for 6 days because your pores are open and you can get sick more easily so you shouldn't go out after dark or go in front of the fridge or be exposed to anything cold. Sponging off is okay, but no actual bathing. The baby can't bathe for 6 days for the same reasons as well as because there are prayer things you have to do on the 6th and 12th day and that's part of the rules. You and the baby have be bathed with a branch of leaves from some kind of tree because...I haven't found out why yet. Nobody is supposed to see the baby for the first 6 days because they have to wait until God blesses the baby on the 6th day. There's a prayer thing to be done on the beach I'm not sure why, and the new mother is supposed to be eating a lot (this one I understand, especially if you're breastfeeding). The mother and baby both have to be "rubbed" with fresh coconut oil by a special person because the mother's uterus has to be put back into place and it's supposed to help with making the post-partum recovery easier, and the baby may need to have their nose and belly "rubbed and fix" because....I'm not sure why. I know my kid brother had problems breathing when he was a baby and my maternal grandmother "rubbed him" because he would turn blue and stop breathing and the "rubbing" actually helped. Other than that, I'm clueless about this stuff. I need to ask more questions and learn more about these things because Taurus Man and I will have to figure out all of this on our own as we don't have the traditional support from either of our families to step in and arrange for any of this or take over with any of these things for us as is tradition. Also, I don't care what traditions there are, but I'm not agreeing to anything that I don't understand/am not comfortable with/isn't explained to me. From what I understand, these traditions are supposed to protect the baby and help both the mother and baby move on well after birth. In that case, I don't think it's harmful and there seems to be nothing to lose but time, and nothing to gain but "protection" or spiritual help, which is good. I think it would be nice to follow these traditions for the baby because nobody did it for me or my brothers and we have the luck of the dead, so maybe the baby will have better luck than we do (if this stuff actually
does anything at all) and it will be nice to have a hands-on experience to learn more about my culture. So there's that aspect of things after giving birth, as well as Taurus Man and I developing a routine to juggle things around the house, responsibilities toward the baby, and taking care of ourselves as well. Whew.
What about the actual birth and all things relating to it? As I said, my hospital bags are about 90% packed and ready to go. There are still some things I need to pick up and then I'll be fully stocked. Down here, even though we all pay taxes, there are little to no benefits for the people. If you want moderately okay to good enough health care, you have to shell out big bucks to see a private doctor and for birth, join a private nursing home. Giving birth in a private nursing home ranges from $12,000-$20,000 on average these days. Taurus Man and I do not poop out money (pardon my French), so we are going with a public hospital. Which means we have to supply every single thing you can think of. Births down here are pretty standard, whether you go with a private or public hospital, so things like enemas, catheters, and episiotomies are done whether you like it or not. You know how you look at those baby shows on TV and read those baby books and they talk about birth plans and deciding who will be at your side in labor, or whether you want skin to skin contact right after giving birth, or who will cut the cord, or if you want the baby to get those eyedrops or not, etc? Yeah, there's nothing like that here. The very most options you have available to you is if you want the father of the baby to be there or not, and that option is only available in a private nursing home. Men are not allowed on the labor wards of the public hospitals and the nurses are very strict about visitors in the first place, and the only person allowed to hold your baby is usually you. I've been told that the baby is whisked away to the nursery as soon as you give birth and the nurses do not help you care for the baby or yourself the entire 24 hours you're normally expected to stay, but I guess I'll see for myself when I go in to bring Superbaby into the world. I have a list of things Taurus Girl gave me to bring to the hospital as well as to have in order to be prepared for the baby at home, and I also received a list for the hospital from the clinic. I will be posting both lists eventually, and once my hospital bags are packed, I will let you all know what I'm taking with me and what I actually used/needed in the hospital. There might be some clueless people like me out there, or just people curious about how things are done all the way down here in this little country. I will be here for you, no worries *cue awesome music* :).
What about everything I need for myself and the baby, in general? I have Taurus Girl's list of things that I should have ready, and as our finances are strained, I'm using it more as a guideline rather than a list. When I met her yesterday, I also discussed things that I can replace with what I have on hand or possibly do without and as a new mom herself, she gave me input on things that did and didn't work for her. My mom surprisingly got in contact with me in December and she and my brothers sent a bunch of baby things through my paternal grandmother (the rant is still coming, I didn't forget). A lot of the things they said they sent are missing, but with what I have so far, it's helping me out a lot, and those things in addition to the baby bag and things my dad sent for me in December are keeping me from freaking out about our lack of preparation so far. So we have those things for the baby (that sounds like it should be in another blog post so I can include all details and opinions without being excessively ramble-y on
this post) and may pick up some things this week (hopefully today). I bought two nightgowns for the hospital, which I think is more than enough as I don't normally wear nightgowns anyway, and in between things I have, things I can steal from Taurus Man, and things that were sent by my family, I think the only thing I should still really get for myself is a nursing bra or two in addition to the maternity pads I'll pick up when we go out this week. Also, something I'm bracing myself for is the post-partum bleeding. The clinic list says I should get two packs of pads, and Taurus Girls's list says I should get three. I've been wearing tampons since I got married, and my menstrual blood flow is usually so heavy that I wear a Super Plus tampon with an overnight pad and still need to change both every half an hour for the first day or two. I'm thinking of buying one pack of maternity pads to see how it works first, as I can always send Taurus Man out to get more as early as the next day if need be. However, if my post-partum bleeding is anything like my menstrual bleeding or worse, I'm thinking of getting adult diapers *invisible audience laughs*. I kid you not. I've been doing a lot of research on what to expect after giving birth and lots of the online forums I've been checking have women describing their lochia lasting anywhere from 1 week to 2 months. I've also come across numerous women swearing by adult diapers, not just for heavy flow, but because it's easier to just change a diaper than to soak and scrub out a blood stain every time you dirty your clothes if you don't change the pad in time. For me, I think it makes a lot of sense, especially as I'm expecting to be pretty busy with the baby and not have time to run to the bathroom every half an hour or to constantly wash my undies throughout the day as I'll be washing baby clothes and cloth diapers every day anyway, which is time consuming enough as it is. The easier I can make things for me, the better. The laundry has heaped up again because I was sick, so once I tackle that, I plan on setting aside the roomiest, most comfortable pants I can find (whether they belong to me or Taurus Man *wink wink*) and some comfortable tops (whether they belong to me or Taurus Man *evil cackle*) I can easily maneuver around to breastfeed and breathe easy with the heat of this tropical island paradise *rolls eyes* as well as insanely large and comfortable underwear if I go the sanitary pad route ( and give up Taurus Man's boxers lol) and/or bras to have at the ready so I can spend less time looking for comfy workable clothing and more time with the baby and working on other things that need to be taken care of/get done. Also, a lot of women swear by witch hazel. The most popular tip I've seen is to put witch hazel on the maternity pads and freeze them before wearing. It's supposed to provide insane amounts of comfort and help with healing since my lady parts will feel like the after-effects of a war zone, and even if I go the diaper route, I can do the same thing. Another popular tip is to keep a water bottle/squirt bottle on hand with warm water and squeeze it on your lady parts as you pee. The lady parts are expected to be so sore that once urine touches it, it will burn and hurt like crazy. The warm water will prevent the urine from touching the sensitive area in the first place, and since no urine will be touching there, I'm guessing that makes it more hygienic (??) and all that needs to be done after is to blot (not wipe the sore post-war zone) and put on the witch hazel soaked pad or diaper. Easy peasy. Many ladies have also suggested banding up the belly with some kind of girdle or belly band to help get your figure back quickly, help with pain management, and also make dealing with all things post-partum much easier. I'm hoping I'll be able to get one in time and we'll see how that works out, because I'm all about natural pain management first and foremost.
One thing I want to point out is how upbeat I feel most of the time now. My dad, brothers, mom, mother-in-law, cousin, Capricorn Girl, Taurus Girl, Aries Man, and two friends from school as well as one of Taurus Man's friends and his wife are all super excited and exuding positive words and happiness about the baby and pregnancy. With little to no complaints in terms of pregnancy symptoms this trimester and things finally being put into place for Superbaby, I finally have a little peace of mind and feel much better about things. Also, the aura from these people have me on a high. Every time I talk to one of them and they get all positive talking and happy and excited for me and Taurus Man and the baby, it makes me feel like crying tears of joy and I'm filled with this feeling that everything will be okay and just knowing that there are people there who care, and with that reaction, *sniff sniff* it means a whole lot and it's keeping me together much more than you can possibly imagine. I have admittedly been in panic mode throughout the pregnancy, wondering how Taurus Man and I will manage with this surprise addition to our lives given our current situation and fearing the very strong possibility of post-partum depression with my history and little to no support. Just knowing that there are people
there, who are so happy about this and want to be involved, and seem to care so much, is just insanely amazing. Capricorn Girl is my go-to for everything, and I tell her exactly how I feel about everything all the time, no bullcrap or pretty cover-ups. If I'm pissed, I'm mad as hell and can't remember why, or making to-do lists and sitting on my ass all day, or scaring Taurus Man with a mood swing, it is what it is and she is totally accepting of that, yet still talks to me realistically and honestly. Just her being there alone is amazing enough. She's been the coat rack I hung myself on to keep standing when things got so overwhelming I didn't want to deal with anything anymore, and even as I'm getting back on track to stand on my own two feet now, she's still my cheerleader/ass kicker/therapist/you-name-it-she's-got-it. I'm guessing so many of these other people are perked up about things as the due time gets closer and makes everything more real, but in any case, I'm super, super grateful for the support. Not to mention if I ever ask my people over at the phenomenal page on Facebook for advice or talk about something I'm unsure of, the responses I get are amazing. Nobody actually knows me personally to think that they would be obligated in any way to offer tips, advice, and experiences, but these amazing people are
there, and that's a big deal for me.
So Taurus Man was just talking to me about the crib and our plans for today (no shopping after all, as he will dedicate the rest of the day to work on the crib and I can use the non-toxic paint we bought to paint a part of the crib that he's already finished with in the back porch (ventilation) after he sands it down). Having the attention span of a squirrel means I've already forgotten whatever else it was I planned on writing, so until the next blog post (I promise I'll be better! :D), ciao for now!
