My Perfect 1st Mother's Day

I wrote this in the wee hours of this morning, hoping Taurus Man would find it and follow through. He did not actually, so I showed it to him after receiving my gift. As it turns out, Taurus Man is so incredible he didn't need the list.

1. I GOT TWO FREAKING SHOWERS TODAY!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

2. Taurus Man did spend money, but on a keepsake Blue Mountain card (he knows they're my fave) and on a gorgeous giant slow cooker I've been eyeing for years but never prioritized enough to get (and the chicken I'm cooking up in there right now smells heavenly). He promises there's more but finally agreed to postpone things until we've covered a couple things later on (but still soon).

3. We all still felt sick, but well enough to spend the day technology free, planning for the evening we spent walking on the beach *dreamily sighs* and taking pictures. We also met a random stranger lady who hollered after us and insisted on taking numerous pictures of us, thus giving us our first pictures as a family of 3. There were many, many smiles all day and night long.

4. I took the garbage out an hour ago, something none of us have been able to do since contracting some weird sudden illness this past week. Triumph!

5-8. Thankfully, there were only two calls today. I luckily missed my mother's call this morning, and Taurus Man's boss's mother called to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. My natural awkwardness made things awkward, but that was the only instance. My dad was the first person to send a text, and Taurus Man insisted that I text Taurus Girl, so I texted a few other moms, including Cancer Woman, and got back a few replies. It wasn't until I got home and finally sat down for the night about an hour ago that I checked Facebook to see Capricorn Girl's wishes as well as some wishes from some dear friends and returned the wishes. No drama, no in-laws/family mess, no explanations or apologies, no crap talking; just serenity.

9. Taurus Man had my Bon Jovi discography ready for me by the time we got home :) See why I love this man? DO YOU SEE?????

10. Jace Lightwood was too busy with Clary to visit, but I'm so smile-y and happy from this wonderful day with my amazing Taurus Man and my amazing Superboy, I really couldn't ask for more. This day was so perfectly blessed I would have never dreamt up something so good.

The Good News and Bad News of May

I like to hear bad news first, so that the good news will help wipe away the bad taste left from the bad news. Most people I know like to hear good news first though, so here goes:

THE GOOD NEWS.
We're finally moving out!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woohoo! No more Cancer Grump, Cancer Bitch, vindictive underhanded things going on, etc. We'll be renting the downstairs part of a small house (yay) not too far from here (boo) and by the very latest, we'll be moving in on the 1st of June (yay). We've already paid the security deposit, and just yesterday Taurus Man's entire paycheck (boo) went towards fixing a broken cradle arm in the car (yay) so from his next week's paycheck, our focus will be entirely on saving up for the first month's rent. We're doing it very hush-hush though, we don't want Cancer Grump and/or his people finding out because they will do something vindictive if they know we're leaving. But ahhhhhhhhh the sweet taste of FREEDOM!


THE BAD NEWS.
I know I can spend too much time on negative things, so long story short, the reason we're moving out so suddenly and not at a most opportune time for us is because Cancer Grump and Cancer Bitch were doing things to spite Superboy and I for the past 4 weeks or so, which were affecting both his health and mine; and Cancer Grump made a great deal of threats to me when I called him on it and asked them to stop.  The gist of it is I am now fearful for my life, my son's well-being, our safety, and our health as well. Taurus Man took me to file a report for threats made, but as Cancer Grump promised me, he actually does have contacts everywhere as his relative in the police station tipped him off in time for him to hide from the police. I am now being accused of cursing him and disrespecting him since coming to this house 3 years ago and fighting him for his property as well. I have a few statements to make on that:

• Whether you guys want to know the full story or whether it bugs me enough, I may be compelled to write a detailed post of what happened. (I don't want to feel like a moody bad-news obsesser, so ask!!!)
• The one/two disrespectful thing(s) I did say since coming here did include an obscenity. On the 2nd of May 2013, during a phone call made at 1:40PM, after being repeatedly told that my son was being spited because of some secret terrible thing I did to someone, I said "What the FUCK are you talking about? I didn't do anything to any fucking body!" (Grammar Nazis please help me out here; if both things are said consecutively, in one breath, and without auditory signs of being two separate phrases, would that be one or two things I said?)
• INNOCENT MEN DO NOT HIDE.
• If people would have taken the time to get to know me instead of believing every piece of gossip they heard, things would have been infinitely better and this situation may not have occurred. 
• Anyone that has actually taken the time to know me should be laughing at the mere thought of Cancer Grump's accusations. Thank you kindly. 
• Passive-aggressiveness in my secret blog world is not enough. I want to learn to be a real bitch to the next person that threatens me or spites my son. *mean face* I am tired of letting people walk all over me because of my anxiety and social awkwardness. If I have not tolerated enough, then bring whatever you have to bring to me and feel free to laugh at my ensuing anxiety and/or panic attacks. My son should not have to suffer because of my inadequacies. *runs away sniffling*

Are you There? It's Me, the Vagina.

I've discovered that the suckiest part of being pregnant is not the traumatizing stories or dangerous old wives tales strangers, friends, and family alike are suddenly compelled to share and insist you repeat. It's not even the people making eye contact with only your belly or boobs and grabbing your belly out of nowhere. Heartburn, constipation, diarrhea, Braxton Hicks, and cervical pain are all a piece of cake. It's the part where you are gradually belittled and pushed aside to no more than a mere vagina. Just a body part waiting to carry out one function.

You're not a woman anymore, you're not even a person in general. All you are is the obstacle between everyone out there and a baby's face. From my experience within my own family, all anyone cares about is what color the baby is (I kid you not - a huge factor in my family), whether he or she is pretty or ugly, and who he or she looks like. As soon as they've pushed their way through to get a good, long, scrutinizing look, they take off, never to be heard from again, only to push their faces in to take a look and make comments and poke around that very same baby when he or she starts going through puberty, and again when they become of marrying age. I've kept my distance from my family for these reasons, but with my due date getting closer, the only way to avoid people now would be to hide under a rock in the middle of Antartica.

Now, people are making my hormones cry me to sleep at night. It's my fault the baby hasn't gained enough weight. It's my fault the baby is moving as much as he/she is. It's my fault the baby might come early. It's my fault my blood count is as low as it is. It's my fault I haven't gained as much weight during the pregnancy. It's my fault I had the flu and the cold. It's my fault the hospital bags took so long to organize. It's my fault the house isn't cleaned and rearranged already. It's my fault the baby room isn't finished.

Wanting a gender neutral green & white theme is stupid and people will buy blue/pink based on what shape my belly is, and the baby BETTER be the gender they're buying for. It doesn't matter what I want, only what they want and they're telling me it will be a boy/girl, just wait and see. If it's a girl, I better look for bright pink and cute princess dresses because that's what all girls are supposed to wear whether I want to shove that old fashioned concept down my child's throat or not. If it's a boy, I better make sure everything he has is blue and screams "BOY" because that's what you're supposed to do with boys, whether I want to follow that stereotypical notion or not. It doesn't matter what I feel, what I think, or what I want. I am not important in any of these decisions, nor should I expect to have any kind of say whatsoever.

I should not breastfeed my baby at night, only during the day, and the baby should be bottle-fed formula at night only by my husband, not me. Cleaning, cooking, washing, and taking care of the baby are all solely my responsibilities and the only help I should ask for/accept is with regards to traditional old wives tales of "rubbing the uterus back in place" even if I don't want any more strangers near my lady parts, and "oiling down" the baby. I should get rid of the things I actually do have ready for the baby that doesn't meet the approval of one or two particular people, and use nothing until they can get the products they insist I use. The only things that are necessary for the baby are things that were used by other moms 20-30 years ago and anything more is just being obnoxious.

It doesn't matter what the hospital, doctor, nurses, or clinic staff say, if this person says I should use a 30 year old product instead of following modern day medical advice, that's exactly what I should do, no exceptions. If I know I have severe side effects from a certain medication that leads to me being hospitalized, I should still take it because someone can get it for cheap over the counter in another country. If someone has offered to buy a book/toy/article of clothing for the baby and asks for my input, I should not mention that I would like to follow a gender neutral (GREEN AND MOTHERFUCKING WHITE PEOPLE. IS THAT SO MOTHERFUCKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND? "Excuse me ma'am/sir, can I help you?" "Oh yes please, I'm looking for something gender neutral, green and white preferably, can you show me what selections you have available?/I was looking at this actually, do you have it available in green and/or white?" "Why yes, come right this way/No, I'm sorry, you'll have to check another store." "THANK YOU" End of fucking story. WILL THAT FUCKING KILL SOMEONE???? WILL IT MOTHERFUCKING KILL THEM?!?!?!!?!) theme or have a preference of certain things over another. I should understand that I have no say in any of the decisions being made about myself or my the baby, and things like colors aren't big deals anyway, but I should be very understanding of how important those things are to every one else out there, like the people going on about how it BETTER be a boy because they bought all blue or it BETTER be a girl because they bought all pink.

Why am I keeping the baby from being born? Why am I hurrying the baby to be born? Why don't I make the baby put on more weight? Why don't I use *insert old wives tale here* instead of *insert sound modern day medical advice/common sense here*?

It goes on, trust me. It might not seem like a big deal; I've tried to talk to one or two people about it and they certainly don't think it is, but for a young mom-to-be trying to figure out how to be a good mother with no example to follow and figure out how to provide the best she can for her baby, all of these opinions/orders don't make things any easier. How are you supposed to have any kind of mother/child relationship with so many hands twisting you this way and that and demanding that you follow so many orders? Whatever happened to motherhood being a beautiful thing? Or the mother/child relationship being a sacred/special one? Isn't breastfeeding my decision and kind of up to the baby and my milk supply more than the orders from someone else miles away? Don't I as a parent get to decide whether or not I want to swaddle my baby or rock him/her to sleep? Can't I decide whether or not I want to bathe my baby in a bucket/bowl or a baby bathtub? Can't I make decisions about diapering my baby, or wait to see how cloth diapering works out, or what kind of disposable diaper works with the baby before getting stocks of a certain kind of disposable diaper? Can't I plan for teething rings, play mats, and toys when the baby reaches those stages if I have no say in anything else at the very least? Can't I decide on who I am and am not comfortable informing about my cervical information, labor information, and see first when the baby is born?

What irks me more than anything is knowing that I always keep my head down and take things like this very quietly. I don't make a fuss, I don't argue, I don't stand up for myself period. I say nothing out loud and everything in my head. I always look for the lower, more respectful road. That stupid road gets me HERE. Fighting back tears for the fourth time today alone. The people that curse and scream and lie and cheat and steal? They're all living the high life, doing as they please, and they know damned well nobody can dare come near them and breathe anything remotely close to "you better", "you should", or "you have to". THEY are bowed down to and welcomed everywhere they go with open arms, revered as kings and queens of their time. Me? I'm just a vagina pushing out a kid people want to see.

However, even if I am just a vagina, I think what I'm about to do, you know, the whole bringing a baby into the world thing? Yeah, that. I think it's still pretty important. I think that not just anyone can pull that off and I'm pretty special for it. Look at a penis. Or a boob. Or an elbow. Think they can handle the pressure? No. That's why it's my job. I might be bruised and swollen and sore afterwards, but I'm the one who handles this job. Even if nobody else realizes it. Even if all the fingers and toes and nose hairs give themselves a parade afterwards. They might hide me away under a hospital gown, but I'll know what I accomplished. One day, all us vaginas will unite and show 'em all who's boss. Until then, very, very quiet rounds of applause for us all. *quietly cheers*

Pregnancy, Belly, Baby, and Hospital Updates + Lists

Firstly, just about a week or two after the last belly pic I posted, I had an insane belly growth spurt! Have a look see at my 9 month belly:

I feel amazing, and have had insane energy bursts throughout the month, which have allowed me to get a ton of things done. My belly itches a lot more often, and I've noticed that it's gotten redder, but it's been no cause for concern with the nurses and doctor at the clinic or my ob-gyn, so I'm not worried. My only hiccup has been with the blood count as I stated in the last post, and I'm working on that round the clock these days. Bending down with the bigger belly hurts more and is more uncomfortable, and adds to the bone pain as well, so I try to avoid that as much as possible. I either still have the cold I got from my grandmother/thieving liar (too tired to make that ranting post about her I said would be coming) or it's turned into some kind of virus as I've been exhausted and drowsy for the past couple of days with a slight fever and normal cold symptoms. That's just been annoying as I want to get everything done ASAP. There has been a lot more upper back pain and insane rib pain (possibly from an injury I sustained before leaving NY), which is probably because I've gone back to wearing my old bras 24/7 to help with the weight of my boobs, so it's a choice between the lesser of two evils. I've had to give up the granny bras because the chafing led to rashes which spread to everywhere a seam on any of my clothes touched my body until I tried going without said granny bras and the problem eased up. I've also given up Taurus Man's boxers in exchange for some granny panties, mainly so that I can comfortably wear panty liners again (the importance of this cannot be stressed enough!). Heartburn is back, but I keep it under control by avoiding onions, garlic, and oily foods. Also, I don't hold back with Tums, as not only does it help with the heartburn, but the added calcium helps ease the bone pain if I take a couple every day (as I was advised to do by the nurse in the clinic). I've also been getting cervical pain for about a week now, every night from 11pm-2am for the first few days, then until 4am, and then not only through the night but through the day as well, and since yesterday, with a feeling of pressure pushing down as well. I'm grateful for it as I'm guessing this means my body is preparing for labor (thank you GOD!!!!!!), but at the same time, I would love to get some sleep. An hour long nap is not sleep, people. That's supposed to be after the baby comes, not now. I think it's safe to say that I've rarely been subjected to hormones throughout this pregnancy. Before this month, I probably had three angry crying episodes total and realized it was most likely hormones shortly after thinking things through. This month though, I've been super cry-y. I'm sure it's hormones because I usually keep my emotions to myself and I absolutely despise me and crying in the same sentence. My boobs are also itchier and I actually accidentally squirted milk out of my left boob last month while lathering myself in coconut oil (I was craving the smell of it and thought, why not? Apparently that's why not lol). My feet still hurt and I think my calves and thighs got bulkier and more muscle-y than before. I'm not sure if I've mentioned frequent urination kicking in before, but I can't get more than two straight hours of sleep because of the scheming plots hatched between Superbaby's dance moves and my bladder. Speaking of which, I'll be back in just a minute. *waddles off quickly*

Secondly, I made a new list of the baby things Taurus Man and I still need to get and categorized the list for better understanding and less clutter. Yes, I am aware I need to see list-makers anonymous and go to list-making rehab and take anti-list-making medication. Whatevs. You see that complicated looking "baby essentials checklist" on the last post about the baby and hospital lists? This new list is that list without the things that are crossed out and now put into categories instead of having things listed at random. Isn't that easier? *searches for excuses* I also intend to use this new format to update the final list of baby essentials that I will judge for myself when Superbaby gets here, and of course, share with all of you lovely darlings.

BABY ESSENTIALS

FEEDING

• …       Sterilizing tablets/electric sterilizer [Avent]
• …       Bottle warmer
• …       Bottle brush
• …       Bottle drying tray
• …       Hot water thermos
• …       Insulated bottle case
• …       Breast pump
• …       Breast milk storage containers
• …       Burp cloths
• …       Pacifier
• …       Pacifier case/holder
• …       Nursing bra
• …       Nipple cream
• …       Nursing pads
• …       Medicine dispenser (dropper)
• …       Bulb syringe
• …       Formula (small can for emergency if exclusively breastfeeding)
• …       Gripe water (Little Tummy’s)
• …       Digital thermometer
• …       Kettle (electric preferably)

HYGIENE

• …       Bathtub (infant-to-toddler stage) w/safety feature [Fisherprice]
• …       Hooded towels
• …       Diaper pins
• …       Humidifier
• …       Hair brush & comb
• …       Diaper pail/small garbage bin
• …       Wash basket/laundry hamper (exclusively for baby)
• …       Baby laundry detergent [Dreft/Lanher]
• …       Contoured changing pad
• …       Bucket for cloth diapers

BABY ROOM/NURSERY

• …       Crib sheets
• …       Crib mosquito net
• …       Crib bumper
• …       Pillow case
• …       Pillow (to position baby)
• …       Baby monitor [Motorola]
• …       Musical crib mobile
• …       Night light
• …       Flannel cotton (for diaper liners, crib sheets, burp cloths, etc.)
• …       Pants
• …       Sleepers/all in one snap button outfits

EXTRA ITEMS

• …       Postpartum support belt/belly band
• …       Extra maternity pads/adult diapers
• …       Washtub
• …       Scrubbing board
• …       Real coconut oil
• …       Witch hazel 
• …       Aloe vera
• …       Vitamin C supplement [Emergen-C]
• …       Stool softener/fiber supplement [Benefiber]
• …       Calcium supplement [Caltrate]
• …       Pregnancy/lactation safe painkiller [Tylenol]
• …       Extra prenatal meds [Natele, Astyfer, Becoplex w/iron]
• …       Extra wipes
• …       Extra disposable diapers
• …       Extra supply of bottled water [8 liter containers]

So, what do you think? :D I also crossed everything off my hospital lists and I'm totally ready to grab my bags and head on over to pushing territory. I've also written out checklists of the items in my hospital bag as well as Superbaby's hospital bag and included these lists with my contact info and Taurus Man's info (in case of some weird emergency only I would think up in my head where all my documents are lost and I can't provide the info myself) in each bag and tagged my name all over the outside of both bags, and included labels of my name and phone number on the inside of each bag as well as on easily misplaced items such as the bottles of medical mumbo jumbo and wipes case. Here are said lists:

Mother's Hospital Bag Checklist

• 2 nightgowns (front buttoning)
• 1 pack of maternity pads
• 1 face towel
• toiletries package (soap, deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, small skin cream, blistex, comb)
• 1 Limacol
• 1 Salve antiseptic
• 1 Fleet enema
• 1 pair of socks
• 1 going home outfit (dress, bra, underwear)
• 1 towel
• 2 washrags

  Baby's Hospital Bag Checklist

• 4 baby vests
• 3 casacks
• 2 nighties
• 2 pairs of socks
• 2 hats
• 2 wash cloths
• 1 hooded towel
• 2 blankets
• 1 portable wipes case w/wipes
• 1 petroleum jelly
• 1 methylated spirit
• 1 head-to-toe baby wash
• 10 disposable diapers
• 1 package of jumbo sized cotton balls

I think everything there is self explanatory. I'd just like to explain that by packages, what I mean are basically little baggies. Do you know those clear plastic packages baby things like onesies and blankets come in? I've actually found them to be the perfect size to store things like Q-tips, tampons, pads, etc. I used one to put some cotton balls in (even though it's not on the list, I figure they would need it since you have to bring everything else), which will be placed in the changing station once the baby comes home, and a larger one to put my toiletries for the hospital in. I think it's super handy and the material is way stronger than the ziploc bags I was using before.

By the way, "casacks" are the things on the left, and baby nighties are the things on the right. I think they're hideous and I don't like them at all, but that's what the hospital wants, so that's what the hospital gets.

There will be a final list for what exactly has gone into my packed back-up bag as well. Taurus Man is currently working on painting the crib (it's 3AM), so it should be ready for me to start organizing after I get some sleep and actually wake up during daylight hours. By organizing, what I mean is that there are three parts to the crib Taurus Man built: the actual crib, a changing station, and a closet. Once the paint has dried and Taurus Man has put in the shelf liners and installed the rod for the closet, I can start packing our baby things in there. 

It is now 5AM and I am so exhausted I honestly can't remember anything I intended to write or did write. Good morning and ciao until next time!

Hospital and Baby Checklists

Remember the lists I was talking about in the last post? I'm going to expose them to the world now *muahahahahahaha* and possibly humiliate myself in the process as I admit my honest thoughts about everything on those lists and what little I actually have checked off. Nevertheless, there might be a fellow clueless parent-to-be freaking out and bordering on the run-through-the-streets-screaming-about-the-end-of-the-world stage of insanity that might find this post helpful. I intend to go through these lists now, before Superbaby comes as a soon-to-be first time mom, and again after Superbaby comes as an actual mom with an actual baby, so I can honestly give you guys my two cents about what was and wasn't necessary. I have rewritten these lists in my diary for quick and easy access on the road, while visiting Taurus Man's family people and asking questions, while checking out baby and maternity stores, etc. I will be typing these lists word for word from my diary, with all my edits and notes included.

KEY: 

highlight = checked off i.e. I have this ready

strikethrough = crossed off my list i.e. I don't think it's necessary

red font = unchecked i.e. I still have to get this ready/this is on my shopping list

            

First, let's start off with the hospital bags.

MY HOSPITAL BAG

• 4 cotton nightgowns (button down front)
• 2 cotton dusters
• 2 packs maternity pads
• 2 towels
• 4 washrags
• toiletries (soap, deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrush)
• slippers
• comb/brush
• cooling lotion - limacol/alcolado (if desired)
• 1 Fleet enema (red & white box)

EXTENDED HOSPITAL BAG LIST (FOR ME)

• bathrobe
• nursing bra
• socks
• change of clothes for home (maxi dress, underwear, sweater)
• cotton roll
• Savlon
• rubbing alcohol
• phone/camera & charger/batteries
• shaver
• chapstick
• hair tie
• face wash & make-up

Though nightgowns are highlighted as something I have ready, I personally chose to go with 2 nightgowns instead of four, as I don't normally wear nightgowns, and providing I can still comfortably wear pants after giving birth, will most likely give up the nightgowns shortly after coming home. The nightgowns I bought were the cheapest I could find for those reasons and are indeed cotton. One of them buttons down to the waist, and the other buttons straight down.

I have crossed dusters off the list because I honestly don't think I'll need it. One of my people over at the Phenomenal page suggested wearing a nightgown as a robe over another, and I can definitely do that with the nightgown that buttons straight down if need be. I intend to carry a sweater or jacket to change into when I leave the hospital, so I will also have that for warmth. 

When I go shopping next week I'll get those items in red to have my bags 100% ready. I intend on buying just one pack of maternity pads to start off with though, for the reasons I stated in the last post.

I will carry just one towel instead of two, and as per the reasons in the last post, I may not even use it. For the same reasons, instead of 4 washcloths, I will be bringing one thick, long face towel.

In terms of toiletries, throughout this pregnancy I've kept one deodorant in the bathroom, one in the bedroom, and one in my purse. I will definitely be taking one of those with me, as well as a bar of soap, my toothbrush, and my toothpaste (Taurus Man and I use different toothpastes) in individual baggies.

I wear slippers to go just about everywhere now, as it's easier to just slip off when my feet start to hurt or get too hot. As my go-to choice of footwear nowadays, I'll be wearing slippers to go to the hospital anyway, and won't need to pack it as an extra item. Yay!

To be completely honest, I don't comb my hair regularly. I can't even tell you exactly when the last time I spent any time at all on my hair was. Personally, there's no need for me to pack a comb/brush for the hospital if I rarely use it anyway.

For those of you in the states, Bay Rum also classifies as cooling lotion. I use Limacol down here for migraines on occasion, so I already have a half empty bottle on hand. I'm not sure how exactly this will be used in the hospital, but it won't hurt to throw it in.

As I said in the last post, once you're going with a public hospital, you have to supply everything. Enemas are part of the protocol down here and you have to buy it whether you want it or not. You have no say in the matter.

Taurus girl was given a checklist of things to have ready for her baby by her colleagues, and after making her own edits and whatnot, sent it to me. She included a hospital bag list for her private nursing home. I've added the things the public hospital didn't include in their list under a separate "extended" list as you can see up there. I plan on including what I think is necessary just in case.

I crossed off the bathrobe for the same reason I crossed off the dusters. All of my pre-pregnancy bras are so tight I can barely breathe in them, so I definitely plan on buying some nursing bras soon as I'd ideally like to exclusively breastfeed. If I get the nursing bras in time, I'll throw one in my bag just in case, but I'm not focusing on it as a mandatory item. I'll keep a pair of socks in the bag as well in case it gets cold at night (the hospital is not air conditioned, and the windows in the wards are usually left open for ventilation).

My change of clothes to go home in will be one of the summer dresses my MIL sent for me last month, a jacket or cardigan, a bra, and a pair of giant underwear to accommodate any soreness as well as the maternity pad. The summer dress still fits my 9 month belly and will definitely still fit regardless of how much or little of the belly I lose after giving birth.

I'm not sure what the cotton roll or Savlon is for, but I will get it next time I go shopping just in case. Taurus Girl says the Savlon is used after coming home, in something similar to a sitz bath where you sit over the steam as hot as you can take it, not in the water itself. I've never even heard of Savlon before now, but I'll find out pretty soon! Taurus Girl said there was no need for rubbing alcohol in the hospital or at home, so I crossed that off right away.

Taurus Man and I don't have a camera, but my phone has one, so I'll be packing my phone and charger with me for calls and pictures. I've heard ( as in "word on the street is...") that your lady parts need to be shaved when you go in to give birth, and if the nurses in the public hospital down here have to shave you, they get very rough when things aren't ready. I'm not sure how true that is, as my OB-GYN said nothing of the loch ness pregnancy monster I'm harboring down below or mentioned anything about shaving. Just in case, I've been trying to recruit Taurus Man to help me, so hopefully I'll be ready and waiting with just a little dignity left in case it is mandatory. Once the deed is done, I see no need to carry the shaver.

I've always had a problem with chapped, bleeding lips, so there will definitely be blistex or some kind of lip moisturizer in my bag. I keep my hair tied almost 24/7 now to deal with the heat, and once my hair tie is off my hair, it's on my wrist, so that won't be a problem either.

I hardly even use any kind of skin care regiment, and I've actually finished the products I keep on hand and can't find replacements anywhere I've checked in this country so far. It's not a mandatory item for me, and ditto for make-up. I don't intend to have visitors in the hospital aside from Taurus Man anyway, only a select few people will actually know when I go into labor, and just a couple more people will be informed when the baby is born. I'll definitely have time to swipe on some lip balm and maybe eyeliner when I get home and settle in with the baby if visitors want to come then.

BABY'S HOSPITAL BAG

• 3 nighties
• 3 casacks
• 3 vests
• 10 disposable diapers
• 2 pairs of socks/booties
• 2 blankets
• 1 bonnet
• bottle of methylated spirits
• jar of petroleum jelly
• baby soap
• wet wipes
• 2 towels
• 2 wash rags
• 2 baby hats

I'm only just learning that there are nightgowns and something called "casacks" for babies, because of this list.  I'm still not entirely sure what either of those things are, but I've been told by everyone I've asked that people in the baby stores will definitely know, so once I go shopping and see for myself what this stuff is, I can further enlighten you. :) 

I have 2 pairs of socks, blankets, and wash rags set aside with no problem. I had a barely used jar of petroleum jelly lying around, so I threw that in the baby bag as well. However, instead of two towels I'm just bringing one as I've been told that the public hospitals don't bathe babies and since I'm only supposed to be there for 24 hours and I just have two towels for the baby so far, I see no harm in keeping one [clean] on hand for when I get home. Seeing as I'm bringing two baby hats, I don't understand why I would need a bonnet, so I've taken the liberty of ignoring that.

Although the hospital list plainly says "soap", I've decided to get baby soap, or a head-to-toe baby wash instead. Seeing as how this is Trinidad, they probably really expect me to walk with a bar of regular soap, but seeing as how the baby's skin will be so sensitive anyway, and there's a chance that my super freaky sensitive skin could be passed down as well, I say my baby gets some kind of hypoallergenic baby wash for sensitive skin, not an actual bar of soap. So there :P

Taurus Man and I bought a nice tub of wipes last week, and also got three refill packs sent down from my mom and brothers, so we're cool on wipes, but we'll be buying one of those small, portable cases to take to the hospital and keep in the baby bag for future reference, so even though we have stocks of wipes, I'm leaving it unchecked until we buy the little case next week.

**Quick note: I think it goes without saying, but I just want to mention that all the things I'll be buying will be hypoallergenic and for sensitive skin. That's what I look for on the rare occasion I need to buy a bottle of cream or some kind of make-up for myself, and it's what I personally feel better using on the baby for the reasons listed above. Different people go for different things, and that's what I'm cool with. Just so you know :)

Since I'm walking with just the bare minimum for the hospital and squeezing back where I can, what if there's an emergency and I actually need all that stuff? Ahhh, I thought of that too. :D I made an emergency bag checklist that Taurus Man will keep with him in the car (he plans to camp out in the parking lot until I'm discharged. Isn't he the sweetest?). In the event that I do need anything extra, he can just waltz in like "Pardon me bitches, but my smokin' hot wife is in labor and she needs this right now. Step aside, yo." Of course he's not going to actually say that, but you get the gist.


EMERGENCY BAG/EXTRA ITEMS

• blanket for me
• dress to deliver in and big old underwear
• garbage bag & old towel for car
• cereal bars/poptarts/cinnamon raisin bread
• bottled water
• extra nightgown
• bathrobe
• extra towel
• 4 washrags
• blanket for baby
• newborn sleeper gown
• extra baby towel
• extra baby hat and pair of socks
• medical documents, hospital card, clinic paper, ob-gyn pregnancy record, etc.
• 10 extra diapers
• list of specific people (w/ info) to call when labor starts and after the baby is born, respectively

I think that should cover everything for the hospital. Although I have everything in the emergency bag checked off, I just have to actually pack the bag. Just a quick run through the list:

When Taurus Man was hospitalized in this very hospital for his heart attack, the thin hospital blanket was not enough to keep him warm and his feet actually went numb from the coldness at night. Luckily, one of the nurses was nice enough to sneak him an extra blanket. In case I don't have a super nice nurse, I'll bring my own blanket as backup. 

Labor can happen at anytime and go in any direction, whether I have time to take a shower and change at home or we're speeding down the highway soaked in amniotic fluid, this emergency bag will go with me everywhere, so as long as I have a couple minutes to change into an old dress and underwear I don't mind getting dirty/potentially ruined for life, it's just a matter of a quick grab and go.

For the same reason, I intend to spread a garbage bag on my seat, followed by an old towel, so if there are any stains or messes on the way to the hospital, the car will be saved such a devastating blow. The cereal bars and other snacks are for both myself and Taurus Man. I don't know what Taurus Man intends to eat while he's camped out in the parking lot as I've left it up to him to pack what he needs for himself, but in the event that he's left with no options, he'll at least have those quick fixes to turn to. When he was hospitalized, he was admitted in the morning and was not given food until the next morning. I'm hungry every hour and a half and I'm guessing labor will use up all of my energy and resources, so unless I'm given a medical reason as to why I can't eat after at least after I have the baby, I want food dammit. Until I get food, I have my own stock of snacks to turn to in the hospital, as well as on the way home.

Taurus Man had nothing to drink the entire week he was in the hospital and I brought big liters of bottled water for him every day. I'm constantly thirsty, so again, unless I'm given a medical reason as to why I can't keep myself hydrated with water, I'll have my own water to drink since the hospital doesn't give you any. (Also as a back-up in case Taurus Man forgets to bring something for himself to drink)

I have an extra nightgown that my mom and brothers sent for me, so I'll be packing that and my old bathrobe in the event that the two nightgowns aren't enough. I also think if it's cold enough for me to actually need a duster, my old robe can definitely do the job. I'll also bring the extra towel and 4 washcloths for myself from the list in case they actually do need it for something. Same goes for the extra baby blanket and towel. In case the baby's clothes get dirty or there's any emergency there, I'll have the sleeper gown, hats, socks, and diapers to pull us out of any jam in addition to the stuff in the baby's hospital bag, which I think is excessive as it is.

I'll keep all my relevant medical documents in the emergency bag, rather than in either my bag or the baby's bag so Taurus Man can easily access it and handle that aspect of things if I'm too distracted by pain or my big toe to focus.

Also, I keep to myself when it comes to family and instead of a million acquaintances, I just have a few friends who have stuck around through the years. I'm doing a long-distance Blessingsway with a handful of people who have been there for me and so far, plan to call only those involved when I go into labor. After I actually give birth, there are a few select people Taurus Man and I have agreed to inform, and whoever finds out after that, will find out however they find out. I tried to reach out to everyone I knew for years on end, again when I got married, and again when I found out I was pregnant, and the feedback has been very dead-ish. I'm sure I've said this countless times in other posts, but I'm done trying to make everyone feel good and make other people a priority when I'm clearly nowhere close to the same in their lives. I appreciate the people who have been there for me and try my best to respect and treasure them they way I feel they do for me, but as selfish as I may sound, I couldn't care less for the people that pretend I don't exist for years on end and show up just to judge, lecture, and/or condemn me because I won't give up who I am to blindly follow whatever crowd they happen to think is right at the time. I'm no longer the girl that preaches "treat them the way you want them to treat you" and "shower them with kindness until they open their eyes". Uhhhhhh, NO. So far, that has never worked for me, and I only end up getting hurt and having more trust issues in the end. Rather than run around crying and yelling in everyone's faces begging them to be nice, I think it works out better for me to keep to myself and let them all keep on just keeping on.*end of rant* Now, I won't concern myself with anything but taking care of myself and the baby (and Taurus Man when I can spare some sanity and time lol) and I think that's totally understandable.

This is the basic rundown of the list of baby things I got from Taurus Girl after edits by her, myself, and then us both together. This is supposed to be a basic guide to help you figure out what you need for a new baby. You'll see what I honestly have and don't have ready and all that goodness *prepares to be embarrassed*. Of course, like I said, I intend to do a 'before' and 'after', where after the baby I'll give you feedback on what I actually needed/used and whatnot (and will hopefully have most of this ready!).

BABY ESSENTIALS CHECKLIST

• sterilizing tablets/bottle sterilizer (avent)
• bottles
• milk separator/dispenser
• bottle warmer
• bottle brush
• travel bottle warmer
• hot water thermos
• breast pump
• breast milk containers
• bibs
• burp cloths/rags
• pacifier
• pacifier case and holder
• pacifier wipes

• wipe warmer and pillow replacement (Prince Lionheart)
• wipes-thick, unscented or cloths & wipe solution
• hooded towels
• wash cloths
• bathtub with safety feature (Fisher Price)
• baby wash (head-to-toe eliminates need for shampoo)
• baby lotion
• baby shampoo
• baby powder or Ammens
• petroleum jelly
• changing mat
• cloth diapers
• pillow
• disposable diapers (Pampers) [Huggies for newborn (low waist)]
• disposable diaper bags/plastic bags
• digital thermometer
• bulb syringe
• nasal aspirator
• nail clipper and/or nail file
• brush & comb
• medicine dispenser (dropper)
• formula
• diaper rash cream (Desitin)
• gripe water (Little Tummy's)
• diaper pail
• cotton balls/roll

• receiving blankets
• swaddle blanket
• crib sheets
• pillow case
• bumpers
• crib net
• monitor (motorola)
• musical mobile
• baby laundry detergent (Dreft or Lanher + regular softener)
• night light

• onesies
• long sleeper/crawler suits
• pants
• socks
• hats
• mittens
• sleepers/gowns
• vests
• outfit sets

• Car seat (5 point harness infant car seat, rear facing), thick straps not easily twisted, plastic coverings with non-metal exposure (for the heat), cotton removable fabric so it can be washed (Chicco)
• Stroller
• Crib set (convertible with toddler rail, changing station with contoured changing pad, chest)

• nursing bra
• nipple cream
• postpartum support belt
• maternity pads - thick, long, overnight (or adult diapers)
• nightgowns with front buttons
• Baby/diaper bag - wet bag, changing pad, insulated bottle case, pacifier case, wipes case, etc.

That's everything so far, though I do intend to make edits once the baby comes and I see how handy the list really came. Also, I'd like to make a practical checklist for the baby bag, not in terms of packing for the hospital, but in terms of using it for the baby on a regular basis when we go out etc. We'll see how it goes. Yes, yes, I know, that's a whole lot of red/things that aren't ready. I don't think everything on the list is actually as necessary as Taurus Girl and her colleagues have said, but hopefully Taurus Man & I can organize the majority of these things in time and see for ourselves. There will also be a list of all the things I actually do have ready and what my honest reviews are on each and every item, but that will be after I get more things ready, and most likely after the baby comes. Stay tuned! :)